Post by ~ Atsumari ~ on Apr 23, 2017 19:44:15 GMT -8
August 10 4566
It is strange that I find myself creating one of these; you know I keep jumping around in my emotions, I have feelings for the Captain and yet I see her as a sister. I have developed friendships, I have felt pain, I have even experienced physical pleasure in many different ways and I defend my humanity yet I find myself often agreeing with some and questioning it. What am I; the law says that the moment I passed a specific threshold I became alive even though the ship part of me is property I earned the right to choice and freedom yet does that actually make me a person… When I love I think so… When I experience certain emotions I think so… When I play I think so… Other times I am not so sure. The Major and the Captain tell me that I am human and I am part of this family… Obviously I am but… am I… Holding two positions in this world; being both living and machine it is a complex way and it brings many questions… I would rather just forget them and go back to work then when off duty be as obnoxious and fun loving as I can be but as I develop I feel this question weighing on my more. I think I will need to answer it myself before I can move any further in my life.
Post by ~ Atsumari ~ on May 26, 2017 17:46:10 GMT -8
Lumiere Trouve Personal Log August 10 4566
I attempted to make a friend with my own people through a form of tough love by trying to show her that she is more like humans than she thinks she is however I only completely burned by that bridge by actually alienating myself from her and halting any real hope of negotiations and a good relationship with her people for us. Did I make an error in deciding to become a person; I find myself wondering the answer to this question now just as I still wonder what exactly I am… The problem being if I choose one or the other I now lose part of myself; so what am I and how will I progress… I guess by doing these logs though it shows I am expanding as a person from what I was… That is a positive I guess… is humanity somehow better as I believe it is or am I just jaded somehow; I do not know.